I want to preface this post by saying there is nothing wrong with rushing, or not rushing. I’m not here to say anything bad; I just want to share my story as to why I chose not to rush.
In the ‘preppy community’, I feel like there is so much pressure to rush and get a bid from a top tier sorority. Rushing is not for everyone, and that’s okay! I’ve always felt a bit left out in the preppy community because I chose not to rush. I didn’t even partake in rush week. I hope my story and my decision can help girls who chose not to rush. I’m not here to sway you one way or another, but I hope that I can be here for those who may feel left out. I firmly believe that choosing if a sorority is right for you is a personal decision that shouldn’t be influenced by anything else. I don’t look down on anyone for the decisions that they have made or may make. Some people really love their sororities, and I’m all about finding something that you love.
Now that I’ve prefaced this post, I’m going to get in to why I chose not to rush.
- There has always been a massive pressure on me to rush. I run the tumblr account pier–pressure, and in my senior year of high school I had girls from UMD’s sororities posting anonymous messages in my inbox asking me to rush. At the time, it was really cool to be recognized. It made me feel important. But looking back on it now, it seemed very inappropriate, and here’s why. At UMD, recruitment isn’t until spring semester. That means that these girls were reaching out to me a little less than a year in advance. It seems a little bit like an invasion of privacy; before I had finished my senior year in high school, they were already ‘scouting’. Now they could have just been being friendly, but it still made me uncomfortable. You know the feeling where everyone is pressuring you so much to do something, that it makes you not want to do it? I feel like that’s exactly what happened to me when it came to recruitment.
- Timing. When I came to college, I joined Women’s Club Ice Hockey. I loved it and the girls on the team. Since our season was right during recruitment, I wasn’t going to miss a game to rush. I had made a commitment to the team, and it didn’t feel right to me to just leave them for something that would be another commitment. Plus, I kind of found my ‘place’ on the team. It was like having sisters; similar to what a sorority would be like. I felt like I was getting everything (and more) out of my hockey team that I would get in a sorority. The time commitment was too big to do both.
- I’m an introvert. I had known this a bit going into college, but I think it really solidified during my freshman year. Plus, I have always struggled with my mental health. I was worried that adding the stress and the time commitment of a sorority wouldn’t be the best thing for me. Taking care of myself is my first priority. I know that if I over-do it or feel like I have too much on my plate is when I struggle the most. This goes with what I said before; you need to do what’s best for you.
- I didn’t feel like there was a sorority that I would fit in. I did some research about every sorority, but I didn’t find one that really stood out to me (or one I would fit in to). My mom struggled with this in college too. She rushed and wasn’t happy with how her bid day went, so she actually started her own sorority at UVA (go mom!). There are definitely options to do this in college if you’re not happy with the sororities that are offered. Right after our rush week, a new sorority actually opened on campus. Several of my friends rushed Gamma Phi Beta and love it! I think it’s really cool that they can be the first members in a new sorority.
- This may be the most important reason: I came to college for my academics! I have always taken my academics very seriously and put them first. I know some girls who prioritize differently, and that’s okay! (Again, not looking down on anyone). I also know that sororities are more than just parties. I’ve just never been part of that crowd because I take my studies seriously. I knew that if I did rush and get a bid, I couldn’t be as involved as I would have liked, and I don’t think that’s fair to anyone. I wholeheartedly believe that if you do something or get involved, you should give it your all.
- I wanted to have free time to lay the groundwork for my future career. I really want to be an artist and start my own company. I would love to work for myself and have all of the creative freedom in the world. I understand that this is a bit risky, because I might not always be guaranteed a paycheck. But I promised myself that I would use all of the free time that I have to work hard establishing myself as an artist. I would love to graduate college and be able to work for myself right away. To do so, I need to be established enough where I can be making money and successful as being self-employed. I knew that if I rushed, it would take away from my free time to create.
To conclude, I want to remind everyone that the choices you make in college do not define you. I am no less of a ‘preppy blogger’ because I’m not in a sorority. People are dynamic, so it’s not fair to define them by one decision they make (or don’t make).
As you can see, there was a lot that went into my decision. I really don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings through this post. I don’t look down on anyone who is in a sorority or chooses to rush. I think it’s a great way to get involved and make friends. I admire the people who have time for a sorority among all of the other college responsibilities. Sure, sometimes I do feel like I’m missing out. The bid day pictures and bigs and littles do make me wish I was a part of it (sometimes).
But at the end of the day, I made the right decision for myself. I do think that there aren’t a lot of girls in the preppy community that aren’t in a sorority, so I wanted to share my story on why a sorority wasn’t right for me.
Did you choose not to rush? Are you in a sorority? Let me know in the comments below!